Last time I wrote about my decision between pursuing soccer or pursuing basketball and how my hand being as it is was a contributing factor in that decision.  I also stated that being PS had no negative effect on my ability to pursue soccer, it made soccer a more favorable choice.  But that isn’t entirely true.

At the time I did not see myself limited due to PS, but I was.  In addition to my hand being deformed, my right arm is shorter, making throw-ins more difficult for me (I mentioned this briefly in the previous post).  I was capable of throwing the ball in, but had to be very intentional about the way I did so.  Because of the differences in arm length, if I threw the ball in a natural range of motion, the ball would usually spin.  However spinning the ball on a throw-in is not allowed and results in a penalty.  So I had to purposely withhold some strength in my good arm to ensure that the ball was thrown in evenly.  Man, I get exhausted just recounting that.

Thankfully, I usually played in the center of the field so I was rarely the one in position to take a throw.

Also, my right arm is slightly weaker than my left and due to my hand, strength training of my right arm is challenging because I cannot grip a weight as I can with my left hand.  So when it came to the ability to hold off an opponent, I was at a distinct disadvantage on my right side.  Lastly, while I never had any testing done to confirm this, I am fairly certain that my right lung is smaller/weaker than my left.  During hard runs I would often feel a tightness in the right side of my chest that I did not have on the left; my breathing was more labored.

I paid little attention to these things at the time other than knowing they existed and pushing through the discomfort and finding ways to adapt.  I never sought special treatment (such a request would have been denied by my dad and my coaches), if I chose to play soccer at a high level, I needed to compete at a high level, regardless of whatever challenges I may face.

I trained in martial arts for many years as well.  I began at the age of 5 and earned a black belt in my early teen years.  Pushups were a regular part of our training routine — knuckle pushups.  Make a fist, and place your knuckles on the ground, now to the push-up.

My right hand doesn’t make a fist.  My choices were to use the palm of my right hand or use the back of my right hand.  Both were uncomfortable and both hurt for different reasons, but that was the dilemma before me.  It was not unusual for me to make a difference choice from one class to the next as I was in a continual state of trying to figure out which felt more comfortable.

As a young child the information that “I am missing my right pec muscle” was never fully understood.  I am missing a major chest muscle, obviously push ups were going to be difficult.  I simply did what was required and expected.  As I entered my teen years and began the surgeries, I then began to understand how much of a disadvantage I had.  Pushups became especially challenging as my frame changed from that of a child to that of a teen.

Then came the date of my black belt test.  All eyes were on me.  The entire session was about me.  From the beginning calisthenics to the sparring with my adult classmates.  I was required and expected to perform 100 pushups consecutively, no break.  My Sensei was unaware of my muscular differences and I preferred if that way.  I was frustrated with myself and my inability to perform as I desired and surely my Sensei did not understand why this opening part to my testing was such a struggle.  I made it through and survived.

That testing day was not the only time PS presented a challenge.

Just about every move and every kata was adapted in some way.  Not that the kata was changed, but the way it looked when I performed it was different.  As I mentioned above, my right hand does not form a fist, so my right handed punches look different than my left.

When it came time for weapons I had to figure out how to handle the bo to complete the kata authentically.

But the most challenging was the sai forms.  There was no way I could manipulate the sai equally on both sides.  In fact, I could not even hold it due to the weight of it.  The solution?  Sensei would tape me up.  We would tape the sai to my forearm as it would be in a closed position and we adapted each right handed move to make sense for my situation.

My hand and my chest effected every aspect of my karate training, and yet I pursued and endured and overcame for over 15 years.  I made the necessary adjustments to accommodate my challenges, but I persisted.