I think we all do it to some degree — we hide behind a mask.  

A mask of confidence when all we have is self-doubt.

A mask of indifference when truly we are impacted and hurt by so much.

An outward smile when inwardly we are cringing and wanting to cry.
I don’t think folks with P.S. or other conditions are alone in putting on masks from time to time.  We do it to protect our pride. We do it in an attempt to ‘fake it till we make it‘, hoping that if we act in a certain way long enough we will eventually take on that attribute.   Sometimes that actually works.

What  I don’t know is for “normal” people, how much is a mask and how often do they put the mask down.  I know for me, much of life is lived with a mask.  Not that I sought to be “fake” or deceitful.  That wasn’t the motive or the thought process, but I put on a mask of strength…to hide the reality that I felt so very vulnerable.  I put on a mask of indifference…to pretend that my hand didn’t bother me and the fact that I was lopsided didn’t faze me.  I put on a smile that fooled everyone…even at times when that smile was the most dishonest expression I could make.

In college I was hanging out with a fellow Resident Advisor and the Resident Professor (a science professor who lived in the dorm and participated in student life).  Somehow my hand became a topic of conversation and the professor, Andrea, said, “you handle it so well.”

WOW! I thought to myself.  I fooled them too!

And for the first time I offered an honest response — “actually, I don’t.  I just hide it well.”

That left them both dumfounded and they didn’t have a reply, but clearly my mask was still working well.

 

So what masks have you put on to guard yourself?