If you don’t mind me asking?
These six words preceded a question I never mind hearing:
“what happened to your hand?”
Asked without a pause between the first question and the second, I answered without a moments hesitation, following the answer with, “I don’t mind at all.”
I talk about this type of scenario the book, Surviving to Thriving: Finding Hope and Meaning Amidst Affliction.
Anyone who is noticeably different; physical deformity, in a wheel chair, walking with a severe limp, etc. gets noticed. Often that person gets stares. Unwanted stares. People are curious and many can’t seem to help but look and stare out of that curiosity.
Little kids are the best. Once they notice my hand their unquenchable curiosity often gets the best of them and they stare. I’ll make a game of it for my own amusement and tuck my hand into my jacket or shirt sleeve so that it is out of sight and just watch. The child with often physically move their body to try to get a better angle to see.
Every once in a while a child will come out and ask, “what’s wrong with your hand” with an embarrassed mother not sure what to say.
In the book I offer the perspective that I’d much rather someone ASK than stare and wonder. I take no offense to a sincere inquiry. None whatsoever. I find the perpetual staring and (failed) efforts to be discrete.